Friday, June 22, 2012

The Angry Globo-Gym Crossfitter.. Episode? The GRUNTER

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 The Angry Globo-Gym Crossfitter.. Episode 5 The GRUNTER



WHO IS THE GRUNTER


Ok ill be the first to admit, that sometimes during a WOD I may let a groan or grunt slip, but this cat is completely different.

We've all see him.
Guns and Roses T shirt with sleeves cut off--CHECK
Three Day beard--Check
Drowned in Aqua Velva---Check
Jean Shorts---Check
Boots--check
A Grunt that could wake a sleeping Elephant--CHECK




So could you do us a favor, tone the grunt down a bit, there is no need to sound like you are giving birth to a blue whale. Am I saying don't ever grunt.. NO
But you don't need to grunt after every rep ,and every pullup, I mean dude, your doing friggen hammer curls....If you have 500lbs on the deadlift bar or a 400 on a backsquat , well then Grunt away. But situps and cable crossovers do not warrant this..
Yeah Im being picky, and a little cranky.. but its all cool...right



Tuesday, May 29, 2012

FEED THE HUNGRY LION

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Deep inside is a hunger
Not for Mediocrity
Not for second place
or third
Inside is a deep hunger
How do I feed it?
Simple
I work harder
Longer
Faster
When the other guys are finished, I do one more set
When he stops to breathe, I keep going
I pick up the bar even when I cant see straight
I stop making excuses
Im tired of losing
Tired of not finishing
Tired of being tired
The Lion is Hungry
Ohh yes, he is very hungry
And Ive let him out of his cage
And You should be very frightened


Friday, May 11, 2012

BE A MAN..SUCK IT UP

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Shoot that Shark RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!!!!!1


YEP, thats Right! Sometimes you gotta put on your big boy Pants, and shoot a shark right in the face.

Life can get tough
Your body Will ache
That double session you did yesterday left you a broken beaten pile of Jello
Your Legs hurt
Shoulders Ache
You cant hit your PR
Your hair is receding
You Dont have 6 pack abbzzzz
Your Not Donny Shankle...

Well Suck it up. Life aint Unicorns and Rainbows
Pick the F&(^*ing bar up
Keep moving
Embrace the pain
It means your Alive
Welcome to Real Life
...
And you will never be Donny Shankle ,so dont try :)

And ladies.. Sometimes you Gotta Kill the Sharks too.. Friggen Sharks, they are everywhere.


Friday, May 4, 2012

The Angry GlobGym Crossfitter EP 4.. MIRROR LOVE

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The Angry GloboGym Crossfitter EP 4: The Mirror Lover



Just a short but sweet rant today.:


There are a handfull of meatheads at the gym I work out at. They perform this simple little ritual:


  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Wheew time to drink some water, ...FLEX WHILE DRINKING
  • Damm i need to check my abbz.. Lift corner of shirt up, Flexxxxxx.. yeah
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"
  • Hey I think that chick saw me, totally checking me out.. Check abbz again.. 
  • Bicep curl 5 reps.... Flex in Mirror.. "Hmm no change, need More reps"

This will continue for at least another 30 minutes.. I wish I was kidding.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Regional WOD BeastMode breakdown

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BeastMode Regionals Breakdown

For Details on all the WODS please check out the Games site at
http://games.crossfit.com/workouts/regionals-individual

FIRST lemme just say MUCH respect to all of you who made it to the next level, you have my deepest respect and admiration. Shout out to my Boy Kyle Sikes northeast Beast, and Team Crossfit 321..gonna CRUSH it.

So without any further delay here it goes.

WOD1."Diane"
21-15-9 reps for time of:
Deadlift (225 / 155 lbs)
Handstand push-up

Nothing to crazy here, a nice couplet and a traditional Crossfit WOD.

Whats going to hurt: Look for sore shoulders and hammies, but honestly I don't think its going to affect people too much, UNLESS..
The Beast factor: On this WOD it comes down to the HSPU( handstand push ups ), you either have them or you don't, if you don't.. goodbye.. BUT the real Beast factor is Kipping vs Strict. The people who can bang out 21 strict are going to have a definitive advantage on this workout.
WHO'S Beastly: look for your smaller athletes to perform well on this, I expect Dan Bailey will be tops, as well as Rich Froning, but your larger athletes will not be able to go as fast on this wod due to HSPU. For the ladies side look for Camile Leblanc to shine early followed by the ever consistent Kristan Clever

WOD 2
For time:
Row 2,000 meters
50 One-legged squats, alternating
30 Hang cleans (225 / 135 lbs)
Time cap: 17 minutes

And then they go and pull this nastiness out of the depths of hell. I mean ouch.

Whats Going to Hurt: How about EVERYTHING. But seriously LEGS. Rowing a 2k for any amount of time is taxing, your quads, shoulders and lower back will be tender even before you get to the pistols. The 50 pistols are more of an irritating way to smoke your legs just a bit further. THEN holy moly 225 lb Hang cleans, are you joking? and 135 for the ladies. This is GOING to be brutal. I bet their will be Men and Women who will not make the time cap.
THE BEAST FACTOR: Two things in this workout will trip people up in my opinion. Speed on the 2k If someone comes out and tries for a 6:30 2k or faster.. BYE BYE.. legs will be Smoked. Pistols I don't think will be a huge factor. At this stage people will either have them, or not. The heavy clean is where the real separation will happen. The people who can string together triples and set of 5 will smoke the other competitors.
WHO'S BEASTLY: I think this favors your bigger guys and gals. Look for Rich Froning to make short work of the hang cleans, on the Women's side I give the edge to Annie T or Lindsey Valenzuela


WOD 3
Four rounds for time of:
10 One-arm dumbbell snatches (100 / 70 lbs)
Sprint
10 min time cap

SEE picture above, that about sums up the fun of this workout
Whats Going To Hurt: If your shoulders weren't smoked yet, well my friend they will be.
The Beast Factor: The run is nothing on this WOD, its an annoyance, The real Beastliness is in the Snatches, I SAY... there will be many people who will not finish in the time cap.
Who's Beastly: Guys side I gotta go with Rob Orlando and Khalipa, Women's side Annie T, Katie Hogan



WOD 4
For time:
50 Back squats (135 / 95 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (135 / 95 lbs)
50 Front squats (85 / 65 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (85 / 65 lbs)
50 Overhead squats (65 / 45 lbs)
40 Pull-ups
30 Shoulder-to-overhead (65 / 45 lbs)
Time cap: 22 minutes

I literrally Vomited in my mouth, this is just plain BRUTAL

Whats Going to Hurt: EVERY MUSCLE in your body, seriously. I am guessing this will be the toughest WOD of the regionals, it looks easy, but after everything proceeding it I'm guessing its going to annihilate people.
The Beast Factor: I think its going to come down to pull ups, those peeps with butterfly will excel at this, but do not discount the sheer amount of shoulder to overhead in this workout.
Who's Beastly: Men's side of things, again I'm going with Dan Bailey to be tops on this one but do not underestimate big names like Froning and Khalipa. Women's side of things I think Clever will edge out Annie T, but overall Its going to be one of the stronger women who will do best.


WOD 5
Snatch Ladder with Double-unders
20 Double unders in between each snatch

Women's weights (pounds): 105, 115, 125, 130, 135, 140, 145, 150, 155, 160, 165, 170, 175, 180, 185.
Men's weights (pounds): 155, 165, 175, 185, 195, 205, 215, 225, 235, 245, 255, 265, 275, 285, 295.
WHATS with the Love of Snatches...Seriously there are other Olympic lifts...
Whats going to hurt: Again say Bye bye to shoulders, that is if you can still feel them after the other events.
The Beast factor: It all comes down to form, and hip flexibility, those athletes who have trained the snatch and can get under the bar quick, will do well, those who cannot, .....Good Luck
Whos Beastly: Mens Side AJA Barto and Rich Froning. Women's side Katie Hogan and Lindsey Valenzuela


WOD 6
For time:
Three rounds of:
7 Deadlifts (345 / 225 lbs)
7 Muscle-ups
then,
Three rounds of:
21 Wall ball shots (20 / 14 lb ball to 10')
21 Toes-to-bar
then,
100-foot Farmer carry (2 - 100 / 70 lb dumbbells)
28 Burpee box jumps (24" / 20" box)
100-foot Farmer carry (2 - 100 / 70 lb dumbbells)
3 Muscle-ups
Time cap: 17 minutes




At first glance this doesn't seem too bad, then you see the time cap and go huh, yeah this is going to suck
Whats going to Hurt: Back from the deadlift and shoulders from Muscle ups, then you move into wall balls and toe to bar. 21 toe to bar will be brutal especially after the long weekend so far, then.... ohh wait,, goodie, BURPEES and more muscle ups.
The beast factor: Muscle ups, and toe to bar. The athletes that have fine tuned the speed of the muscle up, and practiced efficient kip on the toe to bar, will do well on this one. ALSO, grip is a strong factor, the dead's will smoke your grip, so those athletes with a strong grip will not come off the rings, or bar, too early.
Who's beastly: I honestly do not know about this one. Ill Go with Consistency. Rich Froning men's, and Kristan Clever womens




I welcome your comments and gripes

BEAST MODE----OUT

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

SHANKLE- VS - KLOKOV

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Remember that scene in Rocky 4 when Stallone beats the Russian, and the whole crowd is going nuts , and admit it, you were too. I think that is what this match up would be like.



Lets meet the contenders:
In this Corner our heavyweight from the U.S. of A. Donny Shankle
Donny Shankle: Training out of California Strength.. Donny is a very un-assuming guy, he looks like a dude you would see at a nascar race, just chilling with a beer and listening to Skynard. ( Editors note: Donny please don't kill me, just kidding bro ). But that the coolest thing about him, he looks like an average dude, someone we could just chill with on the back deck and talk about life and stuff. But don't let the laid back demeanor fool you, this dude is a B.E.A.S.T. He exudes quiet confidence as he strides to the bar, and he is all business as he executes his lifts. See the two vids below.  For those of us who don't know Kilo's Ill do the math for you.  The Clean and Jerk=462 lbs or 210 Kilo, The Snatch=381 lbs or 173 kilo. RIDICULOUS...

AND







Now Lets meet his Opponent: Dimitri Klokov a Russian Powerhouse, he was born and bred on Lifting big and heavy. His Dad was a heavyweight world champion as well, so Dude has the genetics to do this. Most of what I know about him I have gotten from YouTube videos . He is one MEAN looking dude, his face while snatching or cleaning is scary, im a full grown man and it frightens me. His lifts are even more impressive. 196kilo  snatch or 431 lbs, and 232 kilo clean and jerk or 510 lbs. Again these numbers are just unreal.  See the Vids below


AND


So in the battle between these two BEAST's who would win? Well the numbers are on klokov's side, but I personally have to go with my homeboy Donny. You can hear the crowd now chanting as he steps up to defeat the Russian Juggernaut, " DONNY , DONNY, DONNY " . I for one would love to see this David Vs Goliath type match up, and hopefully at the 2012 Olympics we shall. 


Hope you all enjoyed a little change of pace please please check out both these tremendous lifters, learn from them, and grow strong. Practice your quiet confidence like Shankle, or your anger face like Klokov, either way have fun.
BEAST MODE---out.





Friday, April 13, 2012

Angry Globo Gym Crossfitter ep 3. Creepy Shower Guy

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Angry Globo-Gym Crossfitter Ep3 Creepy Shower Guy

This Post is dedicated to the Ladies:
But Seriously Ladies this is all true, I am not making this stuff up.

Dear Mr. Creepy Shower Guy.
I do not enjoy looking at your penis. Please put it away.

First let me set the stage for those of you who have never been inside a Globo-Gym Men's locker room. Its open, smelly, and the Showers have no stalls. For some reason whoever designs men's showers do not think we enjoy a little privacy. I'm talking Prison shower scene here. Six showers crammed into a tiny space, yes its that close, and uncomfortable, and awkward. ESPECIALLY with Creepy naked Shower guy creepin around

Who is this mysterious man. Well Let me tell you just a few of his wonderful charms.


  • Creepy naked Chats while showering his.. well.. you know.. ( I mean seriously, I do not want to talk about redsox, politics, math, or who got voted out on american idol, especially while you soap down your creepy man junk. Im here to shower and leave. )
  • Naked leisurely strolls through the locker room. ( Contrary to popular opinion this is not your own personal bathroom, their are other people here, and none of them want to see your johnson. PUT IT AWAY)
  • Shaving in front of the only sink, While .. you guessed it.. Naked . ( I just want to wash my hands, and yet again, i am forced to confront your weird wang. Dear GOD they make towels for a reason )
  • AND I SHIT you not. Lying on the benches, just chillin, NAKED.. ( Are you F*&*n kidding me dude, really )
The Locker room is not your personal stage for you to puppet your penis around for the world to see. We do not care. Do us all a favor Creepy Shower guy, and just put it away. Their is a time and a place for you to roam free, the locker room is not it. 
Sincerely, Everyone

BEAST MODE----Out